Excellently incorrect.

Wrong on all counts. I’m about halfway back. I have the aisle seat on the side of the plane with only 2 seats. This flight is shorter than the first one. Not too bad.

On the way into the loo there was a door that said: “WARNING OPEN SHAFT”. And I forgot to get a picture on the way out. I will be sad about this for a little while.

The girl disembarking in front of me on the last flight was wearing a jacket that said “House Of Juicy” on the back. Better than “Juicy” plastered across her ass, I suppose, but still. Really?

One of the flight attendants was already in the process of going through the bit about any carry on luggage that you didn’t stow in the overhead compartment needs to be stowed under the seat in front of you, and was listing various types of luggage: “…handbags, gift bags, grocery bags, children, purses, backpacks, all need to be stowed under the seat in front of you.” Priceless.

It smells like someone did a mistake in their pants.

Beverage service again. Going for water this time.

Slammed it. Like I said. Don’t trust those shifty airline cups.

I have goldfish crackers and I really want to eat them, but I have no idea how I will keep the bag closed when I’m finished. Hmm.

In case anyone was wondering, it’s business time.

The highly entertaining flight attendant is serving only first class. Which makes sense. He’s clearly extremely personable. Adds to the first class experience.

Shorter or not, this flight is starting to drag out as well.

I’m going for the goldfish. Figure out the rest later.

I’ve had them since the first flight out. Bought them at a gas station before checking in. They’ve been stuffed into my backpack a few times. Squished into my camera bag twice. The bag is crumply looking. We’ll see if they’re still goldfish or if they’ve turned into goldfish powder.

Nope, all good. Impressive, really.

One hour left. Torn about whether or not to sleep.

It’s becoming an active chore to keep my eyes open. I’m going to try to sleep.

Tundra in California.

Daylight. It’s always sunny above the clouds. Flying out of San Jose and just broke the fog layer. It looks like a snowy tundra, a frozen wasteland. Backwards, though. Everything is white except the bits of the mountains, which are all green and sandy; normally mountain tops are the first place snow collects and the last place it melts from. Gorgeous and amusing.

Ears are being delightful. No, they hurt a bit as they choose to pop when they deem fit which isn’t when I try to force it. The worse part is it’s descent that hurts something bloody awful. Usually it’s a day or so before I can hear out of my left ear. Constant dull pain and associated headache. And then it will make a sound like bubble rising and popping out of oatmeal and (more) excruciating pain ensues.

My stomach is also making it’s presence known. Dear Stomach: Hi. I know you’re there. You never left. Please stfu. Thanks. xoxo, Kattni. (If only.)

The flight was overbooked. I volunteered to take a later flight. I would have still gotten home tonight and would have walked away with a 300$ travel voucher. Didn’t work out as such though. Enough people didn’t show that they didn’t need to bump anyone.

I met a woman named Sandy. She’s a rather sweet and unique individual.

Listening to Robots by Flight of the Conchords. I am wearing a shirt that says “Robot Dance Contest”. It’s the awards ceremony, and first and second place has been taken by two kids and third place has been given to a robot. And he is very sad about it.

Drink service is now being served. I’m debating whether or not to get anything. There is no room on my tray without tempting fate to drop the entire thing onto my keyboard.

I went with Coke. Closed the notebook temporarily, woke the woman next to me to see if she wanted anything to drink. She and her husband are both sleeping. I began pouring carefully on top of it closed, using it somewhat as the tray and decided quickly that wasn’t an option. She asked where I was headed, I asked the same, and in the midst of that she offered her tray as a place to put my beverage. Excellent.

I’m finding that a solidly carbonated beverage and cabin pressure are not the best combination. I am now burpy.

I would like to officially make my issue with airline cups known. Most flights encounter turbulence at some point. The cups are wide on top and narrow on the bottom. As odd as it would look, it would make much more sense to make them wider on the bottom than on the top. They are dangerously tippy. I always end up slamming my drink to avoid dumping it everywhere. I’m wondering how this was never considered.

The lady in front of me just put her seat back and I am now crammed into a much smaller place to continue using my notebook. Brilliant.

Coke can is now empty, just need to finish what’s left in the cup. I’m beginning to think it was a bad choice. COKE WAS A BAAAD CHOICE.

My battery life is amazing right now. At 90% with 5h50 left. Granted, I have wifi turned off and I am only running a lightweight word processor, but I don’t need anything else right now. Makes the point that it would make it through a number of classes at university before requiring charging. This is an older model as well, and battery life has consistently improved with newer machines.

Gentleman is reading the newspaper over and up from me, and a headline reads: “Burger King woos Japan with ‘angry’ burger”. Awesome.

I keep jumping for my cup every time the girl in front of the woman next to me moves. She’s attempting to get comfy to sleep and could at any time tip her seat back. The only thing worse than dumping a cup of soda on me right now would be dumping a cup of soda on the woman nice enough to let me use her tray for my beverage. See… /__\ shaped cup. Solves everything.

I got new Vans yesterday. Not as cheap as last time (buy one, get one half off last year), but much cheaper than retail for sure.

Cup empty.

Also, woman in front of me put seat up just in time for me to not get a decent picture. Though, she got up to visit the loo and will probably lean back again when she returns.

Yep. Called it. Tried to take a picture. Can’t get the camera far enough away to get really do justice to the situation. Though on an amusing note, in my attempts I had the camera held up above the seat at arms length snapping pictures. I’m betting it looked a little O.o to anyone watching from afar.

Someone just sprayed fragrance of some sort. Who does that on a plane.

I haven’t updated the time zone and it’s 7:45 where I took off from. Flying east to west you lose 3 hours, your 7 hours turns to 4. On the way back, you get to add 3 hour… your 7 hours turns into 10. Lose an entire day. Good times.

As of now we’re at landing on time. That’s nice, at least. Which, after correcting the time zone is still an hour and a half. Not nice, at most. Bollocks in fact.

There’s the overwhelming fragrance again. Sod off, seriously.

We’re over Lake Powell in northern Arizona, evidently named after John Westley Powell, disabled Vietnam veteran who navigated the entire Colorado River with only one arm. It’s kind of amusing that the pilot is giving us tour info. We fly over the Four Corners soon.

Incidentally, the time is currently 9h, not 10h. BECAUSE ARIZONA REALISES THAT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS USELESS. Grrr.

The couple next to me are both sleeping and have the shade shut, so I am not seeing these landmarks. I did see a lot of it on the way over though.

The same gentleman who was reading the newspaper is now drawing something on a notepad. It looks object plan-ish. (Blueprint type thing.) Also he just stood up and he is tall enough that his crotch is in my face. I am avoiding it.

Speaking of gentlemen with crotches in faces (Yep, that’s right, this led to something else. Keep reading at your own peril. >=D..), we had a waiter at the restaurant we visited for Bill’s birthday that was extremely tall. This placed his crotch directly at eye level. Waiters are very involved with your meal at any restaurant. It was … unfortunately memorable. At best.

Headline from the same newspaper being read by a different gentleman: “Lady Liberty is a Tweeter”.

I slept through the first leg of my trip out here. It went by quite quickly. This is dragging on.

Just realised it was awfully quiet. I had paused the iPod to listen to our pilotourguide and forgotten. Issue identified and resolved.

I used to go for window seats every time. Then my desire to exit planes as quickly as possible led to me choosing aisle seats as close to the front as possible. It does, however, essentially negate sleeping. It had not occurred to me that I would probably want to sleep on a flight leaving at 6h20. I should have opted for a window seat. I am lucky enough to have a middle seat in the back of the plane on my next flight. ::sigh::

Starting to fall out. If I do it’s going to turn into the cliched literal nodding off and waking myself up when my head falls forward. Entertaining for onlookers, unrestful and possibly painful for me.

Still nearly an hour. It feels like it’s been two already in the last half. Bleh.

Ok, meh. I need to try to sleep. Can’t seem to stay awake. Out for now.

Irony at it's best.

There’s a girl rushing through the airport wearing a shirt that says, “I <3 Life!” And she’s sobbing hysterically.

Ring, ring, hello?

There was a phone number, presumably to that line, taped to the back of the phone at the end of the jetway. I resisted the urge to write it down and call at some random time.

“Hi, is this the hallway?” “What…?”

I don't think there's a cream for that.

Rather impressive new freeway going in near the airport. Still sand and rebar.

Flying into Dallas / Fort Worth. The landscape is extremely flat. Dispersed intermittently, but consistently, are cities, circular in shape, that build up from the outside into a center of skyscrapers. They look like bumps. City bumps.