Meet my babycat, Kavi.

Kavi was a rescue kitty. She has been in my life now for 6 years. She is an Egyptian Mau mix – she has spots, even on her skin. She will mew about anything and everything, and has a million different voices. Her favorite thing to do is squeeze onto the couch next to me where there really isn’t room and purr like a freight train.

About a month ago, she started eating less and slowly dropping weight. She was still acting healthy and active until a few days ago. Now she can barely walk straight. She is quiet – only making one pained noise when something unwanted is occurring. She is not eating or drinking on her own. She does not run around to chase anything. She picks a strange spot and curls up there and stays.

I took her to the vet today. Blood tests came back positive for advanced renal failure. This condition is not reversible, but it can be managed if she responds to initial treatment. She is currently receiving this treatment, which includes IV fluids and potassium injections. I will find out the results on Saturday morning.

This treatment is costly. If she does respond, I may still need to provide her with subcutaneous fluids for a period afterward. I am not currently employed as I am beginning nursing school. I am asking for your help. She is still young and could have a full life ahead of her if this works, and I am not ready to give up on her yet.

If you are in a position to help, please click on the link below and donate. Thank you for your time.

Donate to fund Kavi’s kidney failure treatment.


I couldn’t not share this.

Girl, You’re So Groovy
Monday, September 7 2009 – 12:39 PM
by: Tycho


She had trawled iTunes for the worst sort of music possible to accompany the process, music in quotation marks, “Meditation Trax” where the waveforms of synthetic pan flutes and the built-in Casio drums compete with one another to abrade the tissue of the brain. She would never choose this kind of music under any other circumstances. She is buying it because she has to. This music is appropriate. Even she resents it.

She is in the car now, holding the seatbelt away from her belly, aware of the extent to which there is no overlap between the sets “car designers” and “pregnant women.” I’m pushing the speed limit, one, sometimes two miles per hour, and it makes me feel like the tattooed despot of some post-apocalyptic road gang.

Between contractions she has managed to fish out the yoga bullshit from her bag, looks at it, decides against it. She reaches up to the visor, where the disc holder is strapped, and produces Doolittle. It is in immediately, and Debaser scours away the surreal fog which has thus far clung to the proceedings. “Fuck yoga,” she says, when her body allows her to speak. She looks out the window, shaking her head. “Goddamned yoga.”

I accelerate to thirty-five miles per hour.


I have always felt that I was too conservative in naming your brother, in naming him comfortably, in giving him a name without sufficient destiny. I determined that this would not be your fate, Ronia. You also have a Q, in Quinn, so that when you are forced to append some meaningless form or other with your middle initial, you will deposit a Q thereupon – unleashing it, very nearly unsheathing it, young lady, to dazzle thine enemies.

I need you to be thus armed because I fear your mother and I have played a trick on you; we have brought you to a place where hidden weaponry is sometimes necessary. In our defense, and I recognize that it may be insufficient, this was the only world available to us.


You are alive; you are alive. May I be worthy of you.


Customer service always matters.

I am obviously having major problems with my self-hosted site. Essentially… It won’t connect. At all. If it does it crawls like snails.

I had it hosted at a place called Quantact. They provide virtual machines – basically it’s as though I had my own linux box and was setting up and hosting my site from there. They also handle DNS which is fantastic – the free DNS sites are alright but I find them sort of annoying to deal with.

Anyway, I still don’t know what the issue was. The guy from Quantact seemed to think it was that the system wasn’t buff enough to handle to software for the site. I’m not entirely sure why it wouldn’t be. WordPress isn’t all that hefty. I wiped out the box and reinstalled everything and the problem was still happening. Quantact suggested upgrading to a different type of service, but it cost a little more money and I don’t really have much right now.

It didn’t make much sense to keep a web hosting service that wasn’t working so I cancelled. As well, a friend has offered to host my site. (Although, he hasn’t gotten back to me since he offered, so I don’t know whether or not it will pan out.)

I sent Quantact an email to request a cancellation. I got a prompt response (like always, as a side note) letting me know that I would be refunded for the rest of the month, and… That I could upgrade to the new service for the same price as the current service since the current one hadn’t worked. Since I have the offer from my friend in limbo at the moment, I asked if I could wait a bit and still get the offer. He emailed me back to let me know that the offer was good anytime I would like to take it.

Every time I’ve had an issue I’ve gotten a response within hours (except on weekends, but not much longer then). The issues were resolved quickly. The setup offered all of the things I would have expected from the service I selected. The control panel setup was easy to use. The DNS service worked great and was extremely convenient. Prices were excellent. I just wanted to give Quantact props for a great setup and fantastic customer service.

Not entirely a surprise.

There is an episode of CSI called “Grave Digger” – it was the finale of the fifth season. I was affected for weeks after watching it. It still gets to me to think about it. One of the CSIs, Nick Stokes, was kidnapped and buried alive for the duration of the episode. The episode was disturbingly well done.

Evidently they’re showing it on a Spike TV thing called Casino Cinema (two hosts and a guest or two get together during the commercials to play cards of some sort, and present movies or tv shows), and previewed it as “the Quentin Tarantino directed episode of CSI”.

I can see that.

Battlefield God.

My friend Matt instant-messaged me a link this morning. It was to a site called Battleground God. The tagline is, “Can your beliefs about religion make it across our intellectual battleground?” It’s a series of questions who’s scores are not related to a right or wrong answer, they’re determined based on whether or not it’s consistent with your previous answers. Are you consistent in your beliefs. There’s three possiblities for “scores” on each question. One, you answer consistently and continue. Two, you take a direct hit. This means you’ve answered in a way that is in direct contradiction with a previous answer. Three, you bite a bullet. This means you’ve answered in a way that most would find “strange, incredible or unpalatable.” This, as they state, is based on their opinion of what is considered normal, and leaves more room for disagreement than the direct hit does, because your view on normal might differ from theirs. In that fact, some of the questions and answers can seem hypocritical, since, for example, they talk about following inner conviction. If your answer is in line with your inner conviction and you stated that you follow such things, then regardless of what society thinks, you’re consistent. Which is what the point of the whole thing was in the first place. But it’s all based on perception, and it’s written from the writer’s perception, and therefore falls into their rules. Either way, clickety click, I entered the battlefield.

Battleground Analysis


You have been awarded the TPM medal of honour! This is our highest award for outstanding service on the intellectual battleground.

The fact that you progressed through this activity neither being hit nor biting a bullet suggests that your beliefs about God are internally consistent and very well thought out.

A direct hit would have occurred had you answered in a way that implied a logical contradiction. You would have bitten bullets had you responded in ways that required that you held views that most people would have found strange, incredible or unpalatable. However, you avoided both these fates – and in doing so qualify for our highest award. A fine achievement!

How did you do compared to other people?

– 160722 people have completed this activity to date.
– You suffered zero direct hits and bit zero bullets.
– This compares with the average player of this activity to date who takes 1.39 hits and bites 1.11 bullets.
– 7.29% of the people who have completed this activity, like you, emerged unscathed with the TPM Medal of Honour.
– 46.07% of the people who have completed this activity took very little damage and were awarded the TPM Medal of Distinction.

There we have it. I’m very consistent. Honestly, I think it’s more that I’m very open, very aware of the concept of perception, and very smart. Here’s why.

Question 1:
Does God exist?

Don’t know.

Question 2:
If God does not exist then there is no basis for morality.


Morality is a personal choice. The dictionary definition of morality is “the quality of being in accord with standards of right or good conduct.” What defines “good conduct.” It’s all in the eye of the beholder. Either way, the entire planet does not believe in God and there is still a standard for such “morality” and consequences for behaving otherwise. If your reason for being moral is that God says you should be and will reward you for being so, more power to you. This does not imply, however, in any way, that without God, no basis for such things exists.

Question 3:
Any being which it is right to call God must be free to do anything.


In my humble opinion, anyway. I have many ideas on what God might be, if there is a God, and not all of them fall into that category. Regardless of anything else, I refuse to limit what God is or would be. Saying God must be free to do anything might not seem like a limitation, but it places the constraint of a label on a creature, that I would assume, probably has no constraint at all.

Question 4:
Any being which it is right to call God must want there to be as little suffering in the world as possible.


Who am I to say what God “must want.”

Question 5:
Any being which it is right to call God must have the power to do anything.


Not all of my ideas fall into the omnipotence category either. This, as well, falls into my refusal to limit.

Question 6:
Evolutionary theory may be false in some matters of detail, but is essentially true.


So science says. I’m inclined to believe so.

Question 7:
It is justifiable to base one’s beliefs about the external world on a firm, inner conviction, regardless of the external evidence, or lack of it, for the truth or falsity of these convictions.


This begins the many references to “justifiable.” Justifiable according to what. To justify something is to be able to demonstrate that it is correct or right. This slips into a perception of what exactly constitutes demonstration of such. It’s not often that verbalising one’s inner conviction works in such a manner. So, do people base beliefs on inner convictions regardless of evidence? All the time. Is it justifiable? Not really. But many things are not.

Question 8:
Any being that it is right to call God must know everything that there is to know.


Refusal to limit.

Question 9:
Torturing innocent people is morally wrong.


This again comes to what defines morality. In my opinion, it’s wrong.

Question 10:
If, despite years of trying, no strong evidence or argument has been represented to show that there is a Loch Ness monster, it is rational to believe that such a monster does not exist.


Do people believe, yes. Is it rational, no.

Question 11:
People who die of horrible, painful disease need to die in such a way for some higher purpose.


I just don’t think so.

Question 12:
If God exists she could make it so that everything now considered sinful becomes morally acceptable and everything that is now considered morally good becomes sinful.


Besides my previous limitation refusal, the commonly spoken of God supposedly granted free will. To change something like that would be to change the minds and thoughts of people, since what is considered morally right and wrong was determined by generation after generation of humanity. I just don’t see that happening.

Question 13:
It is foolish to believe in God without certain, irrevocable proof that God exists.


It’s not foolish. People do it all the time. More power to them.

Question 14:
As long as there are no compelling arguments or evidence that show God does not exist, atheism is a matter of faith, not rationality.


There are also no compelling arguments to prove that God _does_ exist, and therefore it’s perfectly rational to be an atheist. By that theory, though, believing in God is rational as well. It all comes back to a perception of what’s considered the basis for “rationality.” Atheists will say that the lack of evidence is the basis for rationality, and the believe with the lack there of is the act of faith. Theists believe God exists, so the basis for their perception stems from that. It’s all relative.

Question 15:
The serial rapist Peter Sutcliffe had a firm, inner conviction that God wanted him to rape and murder prostitutes. He was, therefore, justified in believing that he was carrying out God’s will in undertaking these actions.


Again, what exactly defines “justifiable.” Obviously, he was convicted and received a stiff sentence. So the judge and jury certainly didn’t think it was justified.

Question 16:
If God exists she would have the freedom and power to create square circles and make 1 + 1 = 72.



Question 17:
It is justifiable to believe in God based on a firm, inner conviction even if there is no external evidence that God exists.


People do. To them, it’s not about justification.