Subscribe to RSS feed


15 August 2016

So, fermenting a cat in there. – James

Even my butt has goosebumps. – James


8 August 2016

I just turned around and there was my underwear being presented to me. – Kattni


27 July 2016

​You better get some more Burger King coupons if you want more girls. – Bee


22 July 2016

​My balls fell asleep. …  I just noticed. – James


17 July 2016

​Sometimes… when I sneeze… I feel it in my balls. – James


11 July 2016

James: I thought this was honey. But, it isn’t performing like honey.
Kattni: “Isn’t performing like honey.”
James: *wave motion with hand*
Kattni: Is that how honey performs?
James: No, that was me crashing and burning.


27 September 2013

It’s not very thick but surprisingly rigid. – Brian


11 January 2011

Some people will burn eternally in hell. There’s a little something to start off class. – John B

Have you heard of this religion where you switch your shoes on Thursday? You put your left shoe on your right foot and your right shoe on your left foot. Have you heard of this? One girl in my other class had heard of it. Which surprised me because I just made it up for the other class. – John B

Hopefully you can see in the dark. That was a witty reference to a conversation we had a few minutes ago. – John B

You guys know what a “nunnery” is right? Right… It’s a place where they can nuns. – John B

And his ashes were sent to her, I don’t even know where she got the ashes. – John B

You have to pretend this chalk, which… I just accidentally licked… is marijuana. – John B

You remember Mr. Johnson? We met him a few fallacies ago… – John B


8 December 2010

So OkCupid’s quiver thought it would be in my best interests to try to message one ENormaStitz. – Matt S


1 September 2010

That’s a lot of clock. – Kattni

The washer sounds like a humping mega-cricket. – Kattni

Na na na na na na na na CAT BARF. – Brian


12 April 2010

DK: How big of a fan of Jonas Jerebko do you have to be to wear a Jerebko jersey. Was it the give away this weekend?
Kattni: Yes. All you had to do is go.
DK: Yea, and that’s the real jersey. ‘Here, take this.’
Kattni: Exactly.
DK: I mean, I know the gift with purchase at the makeup counter. This was just gift with attendance.
Kattni: Yes.
DK: But, still, Jerebko? There were 13 fans in attendance and she got lucky and got Jerebko’s jersey.
Todd: Got lucky?
DK: It was her lucky day
Todd: Just checking. I think they were just sent to Target. “Here. Sell these for 4 bucks.”

DK: What are you doing.
Jess M: Nothing.
DK: How’s that going for you.
Jess M: Ok…
DK: Do we need to go to the video tape
Jess M: No I don’t think so…
DK: Ok. I’m glad we had this talk.

DK: I feel like you should stay away from me today.
Kattni: Ok…. is there anything I should know?
DK: Nope.
Kattni: Ok…
DK: Just a little bit further away.
Kattni: Ok… Nothing I should know not to do?
DK: That’s what you should know.


24 March 2010

There’s two girls out there playing with one cup. ….. Of tea. – Nick N


8 March 2010

Dave Z: I’m sooo hungry.
Kattni: I have cheese…
Dave Z: Eh. I’ll be home soon. Then I’ll eat my wife.
Dave Z: That was terrible… How could you even say something like that…

Dave Z: I’ll BBQ bratwurst when I get home!
Kattni: Is that what you’re calling your wife these days?


7 March 2010

Yea, I have a friend who gargles vomit. Well he’s not really my friend. I don’t even know why I said that. I don’t even like him. He’s a total douche bag. He’s a cousin of some friends so I have to hang out with him. In fact I would say he’s my mortal enemy. He has been referred to as my mortal enemy… – Nick


3 March 2010

Jay T: You know the video where the lady is crushing grapes and she falls off and she’s going wwwuuuuggghhhhhh wuuuugghhhh
Kattni: Yea! “oweeoweeowee”
Jay: “I can’t breathe”… Yea, well we were in Columbus, on the Columbus Strip, and there was some girl piggybacking another girl and she fell off, and my buddy leans down and goes “WUUUUGGGHHHH.. WUUGGHHHHH.”

Nick: Nut driver.
Josh: What?
Nick: Nut driver…
Josh: What…?
Nick: A handle for a nut driver.
Kattni/Jules/Josh: …..
Nick: What. It’s a handle for a nut-driver. With a nut-driver in it.

Older posts «